So the school’s talent show is tomorrow night, and one of my 4th period sweethearts is going to sing. The other day, the choir director was telling me how great she is. The following conversation ensued:
C: Hey A! Are you in the talent show?
A is TOTALLY bashful about it…
Me: Oh yeah! Mr. J was just telling me the other day how much he likes the song you’re singing!
A: Really??
Me: Yeah, he said it’s great!
C: Yeah, I couldn’t be a singer. Singers fart all the time.
Me: What?
C: Singers fart a lot! That’s, like, all they do. And then they burp. They fart and burp a lot.
I can only imagine what life experiences led him to believe that. (C is also sexy binders kid.)
Then, in 6th period, I made the announcement that I would be gone for two days after Spring Break. One girl started asking me about my plans, which led to this:
A: So Miss, are you going to get a boyfriend over spring break?
Me: What? Am I going to go find myself a boyfriend??
A: Or if you already have one, are you going to get married?
Me: Uh…
R: She’s already married!
Me: What??
R: Just look at her ring! [He takes my hand] See? It’s invisible!
Me: No, I am not getting married, and no, I am not getting myself a boyfriend.
A: Oh, ok!
A is a part of my gaggle of girls; they are all curious about my relationship status. It’s fun to keep them guessing. R is the one who gets all his advice on women from the school’s police officer. (That officer, by the way, had NO idea how R got that message from him.)
Oh, these children…
